The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The book identifies five ways people express and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Shedooby falls under the category of self-help as does Chapman’s and Bet-David’s books. Since you’re actively using Shedooby now, and may not have time to read these, I’ll give you a brief overview on how I use them.
I read The Five Love Languages after reading Choose Your Enemies Wisely: Business Planning for the Audacious Few by Patrick Bet-David (with Greg Dinkin) – a business book that teaches entrepreneurs how to use emotional drive, fueled by "enemies" (haters, doubters, competitors), to create a powerful business plan for sustainable growth.
I took some time to try to figure out my wife’s love languages. That is, which of the five listed does she respond to most. Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service rank high. She definitely responds to authentic acknowledgement and a genuine complement. Too, she responds gratefully and emphatically when I volunteer my time to help her with a task important to her. The other 3 expressions are not unimportant. But these two seem to elicit a stronger positive response. My languages begin with Physical Touch and Quality Time. Touch includes everything from the obvious relations, to hand holding, shoulder rubs, and even hugging my dogs. Time being finite and thus our most precious resource, as Shedooby makes clear (I hope), is something I am grateful for whenever someone gives it.
Once you figure out which languages you and your most intimate relation responds to, you can use them in a lash. One all encompassing love languages lash I use is straight up: “Words of affirmation, quality time, act of service, gift or touch. Dealer’s choice.” I like using this lash when I find myself griping about petty annoyances. If I want reciprocation on any of the five ways, then I need to take the initiative. Obviously, expecting reciprocation is foolish. Nevertheless, the effort to be more aware of the languages my wife responds to does have an important payoff: her overall demeanor is lighter and more positive around me when I’m giving off these vibes. That’s not nothing when it involves my most important relationship.
Regarding Patrick Bet-David’s book, choosing an enemy to motivate you to take relentless action for self-improvement is very useful in a lash. A lash that still cuts through my mind’s noise includes the example I provide in the app itself involving that marketing pro and former client. Every time I see their image appear in my lash I hunker down and do more productive work. I have neither forgiven (they never apologized), nor forgotten. Very potent for motivation.
If you do have the time to read these books, go for it. They could help set you off on the adventure of your life.